F*ck, That Was Disappointing: A Review of Action Bronson’s Cooking Show


After watching Action Bronson’s awaited first episode of “Fuck, That’s Delicious” I’ve got to admit my disappointment levels were rather high. I mean, for watching a food connoisoir, such as Bronsolino himself, I’d expect a little more excitement. Then again, good food does put people in a coma. Maybe I should have been there, with him.

00:30 – The moment I began realizing this episode was taking way too long to get to something delicious. Even with mention of his “favorite” spot (Roberta’s) in Brooklyn, there’s not enough mention of what we’re all really here for; delicious fucking food. We know you’ve been on tour Bronson, but that isn’t what we’re here for.

00:50 – Fuck, this is how long it’s taken to start the episode.

1:10 – Dear Munchies, a food series should never be started with a cough. Here we go talking about tour again. Picture me banging my plastic office forks and knives on the table yelling “I want food,” repeatedly.

2:20 – Bronson was right, that dive was epic…but I cannot eat that dive. Where’s the food?!

2:35 – “I got sick, I’m not gonna lie. I tried to sit down and like eat, but I couldn’t. I was fuckin’ sick. I was just rockin.” – Action

3:02 – “I literally had to barf.” – Action (again) This is a joke…right?

3:24 – I’m reminded that he still hasn’t eaten anything, but a baby orange he asked someone to break him off in the first couple of seconds of the episode. He continues talking about his tour life and this seems less like a food series based on the shit Action likes to eat and more of a documentary on his life. I’m determined to watch until I see a plate of food in front of him.

3:55 –  FOOD!

4:48 – That was it? Bronson just ate his first dish of the episode and didn’t even say “Fuck, that’s delicious.” Instead he said “That’s nice,” which is not the name of the series by the way.What’s worst of all is that we have no clue what he just ate. I was expecting more of a breakdown; something more than just a confirmation of the dish’s “lemon essence” and how much chefs hate when you fuck with their food.


5:09 – MZOLI’s, an incredible BBQ open-fire-pit place. Now we’re getting somewhere.

6:10 – This is what I’ve been waiting for, except that it’s a little too late now.

6:40 – Action kisses his fingers and gives the chef a stamp of approval with an “incredible.” Again, not the name of the show.

6:42 – He’s finally done with his first dish…and I still don’t know what it was.

8:10 – One’s nuts and food should never be in the same sentence.

8:39 – HE FINALLY SAYS IT – “Fuck, that’s delicious.”

8:46 – Here he goes talking about himself and it’s not that I’m not interested. That’s just not what I’m currently here for. I just want to hear you talk about food Action.

9:18 – I want to know more about that awesome looking whipped cream. What makes it so great anyway? Is it more whipped or more creamy? Does it taste like the one from the can? Where can I get some for myself? Damnit Action…

I’m not going to say this episode of “Fuck, That’s Delicious” was absolutely terrible, but what I will say is fuck, that was disappointing. I expected Bronson to be in the kitchen ‘chefing’ it up at some of his favorite places or at least providing a more detailed description of some of the things he likes to indulge in. Instead, I felt like I was watching a documentary in which he spoke on some of his best moments on tour. I’d be lying if I said I looked forward to next month’s episode, unless someone reads this review and takes it into consideration. A girl can dream, can’t she?





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