Dear Drake, It’s Time to Accept Reality. Wheelchair Jimmy Is Long Gone. You Need to Stick to Rapping!: Unsolicited Advice


Dear Drake,

We need to talk.

I hate to say it, but you’re getting a bit soft babe. Sure, sure you’re going out on this big tour with Lil Wayne which is awesome, but you’re really starting to confuse me with all of this acting stuff you’ve got going on.

You started doing SNL, one-liners in Anchorman and Think Like a Man Too, cameos on Jimmy Kimmel Live and now you’re hosting the ESPYs? Are you trying to tell us something because I’m not feeling this back-to-acting thing you’ve got going on.

Don’t get me wrong, your days on Degrassi were cool and what not; I mean most of my teenage years were spent gawking over you, but that boat has sailed.  Acting just ain’t your thing anymore.  Rapping is.  I suggest you move on.

But maybe I can relay some words of wisdom to you because you clearly need help sorting out your priorities:

  1. Stick to what you know.  Music Awards, Emmys and BET Awards,all suit you perfectly fine!  Why do you find it necessary to host the ESPYs? I can just picture it now. First you’re going to have everyone in the room crying as you speak and then when the awards are over you’re going to hit the studio and write an album dedicated to all the losers of the night. If you’re going to follow through with this gig, man-up dude, you’re too soft for the ESPYs.
  1. I hate to be selfish in this sense but if you leave for the big screen I don’t know when I’ll get a new album from you and I want more music.  So I will give you my full blessing to make a small comeback into acting ONLY IF you don’t pull a Mark Whalberg and give up music for the silver screen. (I mean I’m not complaining that Marky Mark has failed to make an appearance for the past 18 years because the world is better off without that junk, but…you get what I’m saying, don’t go trading the studio for bigger cameras). You already had that and look where it landed you. Sit…stay. Good boy.
  1. You said it yourself in “Look What You’ve Done”: “Told you I think I’m done acting, I’m more in touch with the music.” Boom. Proof you should stick to your words.
  1. Again, if you really insist on taking this route, try taking some acting classes, from what I’ve witnessed you’re a bit rough around the edges. (Exhibit A: You’re appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Exhibit B: Your promo for the ESPY awards…is that even you speaking?)

I’m sorry but the last “good” sports related entertainment I got from you was when you were strapped to a wheelchair playing basketball on a fictional teenage drama show. Even your partnership as a Global ambassador for the Toronto Raptors won’t suffice for this. You’ve got some major work to do my friend.

So what’s it going to be? Music or the big screen? My neck hurts from this whiplash, one second you’re putting out more softies and the next you’re spitting one-liners in mediocre movies. Make up your mind Drake.

Yours truly,


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