Movies

We Read Every Review of Scarlett Johansson’s New Movie So You Didn’t Have To. Here’s The Verdict…

I’ve been nothing but intrigued by the sight of Scarlet Johansson’s new movie. She played the role of “Lucy,” a woman who’s accidentally caught in a sticky situation where she turns the tables on her captors after transforming into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic. It’s unknown how, but Lucy—unlike any other human—is able to use 100% of her brain. *insert dramatic theme music here* And if you already didn’t know, we (humans) don’t use nearly that  much of our brains. The myth is that we use 10% and I’ve read (on Google) that we only use 3%.

So, what’s the overall verdict? You should probably go check the movie out, but don’t listen to me. The reviews do all the talking. I’ll be in the theater’s later, so look for the girl with a red streak in her hair and a grey hoody.

USA Today: “Scarlett Johansson is ideally cast as a rapidly evolving kick-ass hero in Lucy, a stylish action thriller that is equal parts dazzling and ludicrous.”

Boston Globe: “It’s all ridiculous and enjoyable, and at the movie’s center is an actress creatively guessing at what omniscience might feel like.”

New York Post: “In a captivating climax, the movie turns attractively freaky, though somewhat marred by cheesy special effects, and there’s a huge debt to the immense leaps of “2001.” An abrupt ending feels frustrating and leaves questions floating in space. Then again, I’m using only 3 to 5 percent of my capacity, so what do I know.”

Slant Magazine: “Vulgar auteurist Luc Besson finally commits wholeheartedly to his decades-long preoccupation with waifish young women discovering their inner Shiva, spinning the concept out to its most delirious possible extremes.”

The New York Times: “Giddily recycling everything from “2001: A Space Odyssey” and “The Matrix” to yakuza actioners and National Geographic documentaries, it’s a garish, trippy, wildly uneven and finally quite disarming piece of work, graced by a moment-to-moment unpredictability.”

Lucy

Wall Street Journal: “It’s gleefully bold, visually adventurous, often funny, strikingly concise — the whole heart-pounding tale is over in 90 minutes — and 100% entertaining.”

Chicago Tribune: “When everything and anything is possible, nothing feels urgent or truly dramatic. The movie devolves into a melange of digital effects and sequences of glamorous slaughter, as Lucy swaggers around, with that big brain, and slouches toward becoming a full-lipped deity.”

Charlotte Observer: “Whether you take to it will depend on whether you consider “high-octane” or “nonsense” the more important word.”

Rotten Tomatoes: “Enthusiastically silly, Lucy tries to power through its logical gaps with cheesy thrills and Scarlett Johansson’s charm — and partly succeeds.”

Rolling Stone: “Remember Limitless, the 2011 thriller in which Bradley Cooper becomes a whirling killer dervish from a drug that lets him access 100 percent of his brain? Well, Lucy is basically the same movie with Scarlett Johansson in the Cooper role. It’s not a good trade-off.”

Forbes: “Lucy, starring Scarlett Johansson, isn’t the movie that’s being advertised, but it’s an interesting and entertaining science-fiction character study.”

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