Unsolicited Advice

Dear Remy Ma: Going After Nicki Minaj Isn’t Going To Make You Hot Again, But We Know What Will…(Unsolicited Advice)

(Illustration exclusively for WatchLOUD by Jeremy Nguyen)

Dear Remy Ma,

Welcome back to the real world!

Good thing the economy crashed while you were away in ‘08 or who knows, you might have gone after someone else over your money…

I’m sorry, let’s not make jokes…but seriously speaking, you’ve been released…finally…for the extremely publicized fall-out you had with Makeda Barnes-Joseph. Congratulations!

Now I get it, you think you’re more mature now that you’ve been away for so long, and while I’m happy for you, what you need is more than just maturity.  You need a fresh out look on life.  *Cue my advice* I tailored a few “Remy Ma life tips” for moving forward:

  1. Violence is never the answer.  Fighting over money IN PUBLIC when you’re a celeb is super classy…not.  Oh it’s also very un-lady like.   I understand it’s your money and I get why were pissed but let’s be real, you probably blow 3K at the club anyway. Either way, it’s gone and so were 6 years of your life.
  2. If you find yourself in this sticky situation again, there are alternative ways to settling up.  There’s this thing that normal people do when they get robbed—it’s called “take their a** to court.”  If you don’t want involve the legals, a civilized meeting would suffice.  A felony? Not so much.
  3. I know you have a big book of rhymes so lets do something with them.  If you want to make a name for yourself again, put an album out now.
  4. Last but not least, let’s try to keep Nicki out of this. Back in ’12, you said: “It’s on when I get out of jail.” Coming after her for dissing you years ago is NOT going to do anything for you.  It’s time you get a grip on reality.  So don’t go getting your self into anymore trouble.  You really don’t need it.

Girlfriend, you are an artist in one of THEE biggest industries. I’m sure that the money will flow…as soon as you put out a few tracks.

Either way welcome home. It’s time to get your game face on.

Yours truly,


To Top