Unsolicited Advice

Dear Danity Kane, We Put Together A List of Do’s & Don’t That’ll Help Your Careers… (Unsolicited Advice)


Dear Danity Kane,

So it’s been a while since I’ve heard of you.  I never thought I’d have to write to you because, well, I never knew you were back in the first place.

Your first run as a band was pretty mediocre and it failed.  But, now you’ve come back and you’re already broken up before you even started?  Good job!  You’re doing everything right…not.

You probably would have saved yourselves a lot of time by staying broken up.  Punching people and catfights in the studio?  This isn’t a boxing ring ladies!  Nor is it classy.

I’m pretty sure you’ve learned from your first round of stardom that there are do’s and don’ts of being in a successful band.  But just in case you’ve forgotten, here are some ideas to help you in the future.  I mean I know you’re done (thank goodness) but it doesn’t hurt to learn…

  1. DON’T punch your band members. Leave the catfights at home.  A recording studio is no place to sort your personal problems.  Like I said, not classy, not a boxing ring.
  2. DO make good music.  For gods sake put the claws away and write a GOOD song.  This is the perfect opportunity to use all of this negative energy and make an album worth of stuff.  Too bad you’ll never have the chance.
  3. DON’T start ripping each other apart to the press.  At this point in the game—now that you’re done—you really don’t need the bad image, you’re better off just disappearing.  Oh and besides…no one cares.
  4. DO try and like your band members.  It doesn’t help when you argue on the reg.  I’m pretty sure you could have figured this out on Making the Band.  You would have saved me the trouble of writing this.

Honestly, this is for the better.  I think the saying goes something like: “if a relationship didn’t work the first time, it probably wont the second.”

Best of luck on your future endeavors.

Yours truly,


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