Comedy

5 Corporate Logos That Are As “Satanic” As Monster Energy’s

hulk-monster-energy

Some people have way too much time on their hands so they do things like over analyze product logos. Most of the time, conspiracy theorists will find a link to demonic spirit worship.

One such video went viral when a woman demonstrated how a can of Monster energy drink was filled with demonic symbols. While some raised an eyebrow, others called bull! We were in the latter category.

If the Monster can is filled with subliminal satanic messages, we think if we look hard enough we can find evil messages in any logo. Don’t believe us? Read on.

McDonald’s

McDonald's_window_logo_1976

The Golden Arches are probably one of the most recognizable logos ever. There is no more ubiquitous symbol for happiness in children. What you might have never realized is that to the conspiracy theorist the Golden Arches resemble a woman’s naked thighs when laying on the beach worshipping the sun.  (It’s obvious why you’re lovin’ it so much, now, huh?). Over the years, the arches have gotten bigger, which pushes one to believe McDonald’s is secretly telling you where you’ll gain weight after eating that mess! Let’s put down the Big Mac. Finding pants that fit is hard enough.

Apple

silver-apple-logo

Everyone wants to know how can Apple continue to create frenzies with their products despite them dropping every six months. For the conspiracy theorist the answer is quite simple: Steve Jobs made a pact with the devil and the proof is in the logo. The logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it. What caused the world to be filled with evil as written in the Bible? Eve taking a bite out of the forbidden fruit! Stay woke, y’all! Apple is trying to send you to hell!

And if you’re not convinced by that, consider this. When Apple acquired Beats By Dre the mock logo looked like the serpent encircling said apple. Boom!

beatsapple

Coca-Cola

Coca-Cola_0

It’s a known fact that The Coca-Cola Company once laced their carbonated soft drink with a little bit of the booger sugar. Public uproar caused the brand to stop with the extra additive, but that doesn’t mean they stopped promoting the drug. Their recent campaign, “Share A Coke With…” is actually an undercover ploy to do drugs with friends. All you have to do is replace “a” with “some” and there you have it. Not to mention that the logo itself MUST be a white ribbon just waiting to be snorted and the biggest song out right now, “Coco,” got grown men falling off stages. Look hard. That logo is someone’s ass hitting the floor!

Chase Bank

chase bank

Have you ever wondered why Chase Bank is so aggressive with their overdraft charges and other ridiculous fees? Maybe it’s because they were down with the Nazis. And we all know the Nazis middle name should have been “aggressive.” Although the bank has tried to distance itself from its unsavory past, their logo still holds traces of Hitler’s homicidal crew, a swastika, maybe? Take a closer look.

Still not convinced? Bear in mind that the logo is made up of four trapezoids, traps! And who places the biggest traps in the world for unsuspecting homeowners? Banks!

Sallie Mae

sallie-mae

Most college students will tell you that you don’t have to dig deep to discover how evil Sallie Mae is, especially when it’s time to pay those loans back. But hidden subtly in this unassuming logo is a record (or prediction?) of one of the most evil acts in modern times. The two “LLs” in Sallie represent the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center that were destroyed on Sept. 11, 2001 and in the “M” you can see the pointed noses of the 3 planes that were used in the attack–two at the towers and one at the Pentagon in D.C.  With the tallest structures in the name now gone you are left with the letters S.A.E A.E. S-A-E is medical code for “Serious Adverse Event.” Pay attention, people!

Or maybe –just maybe–we’re reading too much into it…

To Top