Thanks to some inventive teens the world may soon have condoms that change color to detect STDs. This has to be the best upgrade to condoms since they came packaged with mini vibrators. While there are tons of love gloves that do everything from delay orgasm to increase sensitivity, we can think of even more things we need these contraceptives to do.
In sex timing is everything and from the number of women who say they fake orgasms it’s clear that men don’t always know when the tea kettle is really whistling. A color coded indicator of her arousal level will help guys pace those strokes for maximum efficiency.
It’s a sad fact of living in the city that you’ve seen used rubbers tossed on the sidewalk by someone with poor post-coital aim. If the condom could be folded or balled up into a more aerodynamic design, trashing them afterwards would be so much easier.
As nasty as this sounds, there are times when you really are down to your last one, but she wants round two. Many a baby has been conceived under these circumstances, when dudes either convince themselves that the second nut will have fewer swimmers than the first or that there is enough residual spermicide left over from the first condom that it can cover us like rollover minutes on AT&T. Stop the YOLO madness and get this emergency condom made.
The Run-Flat Condom
There are pills upon pills to get a guy hard and keep him there but even with Obamacare those little blue pills require a prescription. For that moment when shorty gets the best of you but there are still 90 minutes left on the short stay, these specially ribbed condoms will keep the party going.
The Fortune Cookie Condom
Who wouldn’t like a nice motivational message before they release the Kraken…like ‘Release the kraken!’ Conversely, a time-released note will appear depending on when you finish. Anything less than 5 minutes gets you a “404 Error” but when you put in your time you get a “Flawless Victory!”