Frank Ocean’s live stream of himself living out Kanye’s IKEA dreams first appeared on his site, Boysdontcry.co, on Monday August 1st. Fans took it as some kind of countdown clock to the release of his album Boys Don’t Cry, and this theory was supported by a New York Times article stating that the long awaited follow-up to Channel Orange would be released on Friday August 5th.
As of this writing the album has not materialized and fans have been passing the time speculating on what exactly he is building in that warehouse straight out a Saw movie. The most common (and depressing) guess is that he is building a studio to record the album and Complex.com even got Bob Vila to weigh in, saying that he thinks speakers are the end product. However, there are far more entertaining hypotheses in the ether.
- A game console, which would be no consolation.
2. This would make sense since he’s burned the one with so many fans today.
3. All he needs is Flux Capacitor. We hear Just Blaze has one in his studio.
4. Less work than the time machine with more predictable results.
5. Only Keebler Elves can squash this.
6. The only Trump inspiration we’ll tolerate.
7. Because this album better be flames.
8. This is fine as long as Russell Crowe doesn’t show up in his Noah cosplay looking to shoot a sequel.
9. This would make sense if Frank didn’t already just float on the power of great expectations and tears of his fans.
10. A tad morbid, but accurate.
11. Forward our mail to Arkham.
12. If he’s in Rio that would explain the hazmat suit.
13. This would explain Kanye’s recent IKEA obsession.
14. Iceboxes, where our hearts used to be.
15. And finally the truth.