‘Atlanta’: 5 Crazy Moments From “Nobody Beats The Biebs”

ATLANTA -- "Nobody Beats The Biebs" -- Episode 105 (Airs Tuesday, September 27, 10:00 pm e/p) Pictured: (l-r) Brian Tyree Henry as Alfred Miles, Donald Glover as Earnest Marks. CR: Guy D'Alema/FX

Peep our recap of last week’s episode “The Streisand Effect” here.

For all the notoriety Alfred/Paper Boi’s been receiving, he’s been fighting back roadblocks this season. Last week, he butted heads with social media troll Zan, but this week, he and his manager/cousin Earn go corporate (kinda).

Paper Boi is playing charity basketball for some free publicity, but both reporters and fans still only know him for that body he caught(?) in the series premiere. Things only get worse when R&B star Justin Bieber (no, not that one) shows up and hogs all the spotlight – and Paper Boi’s patience. Meanwhile, Earn uses a case of mistaken identity to get a leg up in the world of professional management that might bite him in the ass, and Darius hits a shooting range.

Polish off that dab and check out our recap of “Nobody Beats the Biebs.”

“Damon Wayans-looking n*gga”

After some JV-level ball flexing for the camera (Earn says he was “pretty good back in the day”), Paper Boi thirsts for an interview from local journalist Val. Whatever you do, don’t ask a writer on an interview date to Benihana cause you’ll look a damn fool no matter how fire your Soundcloud is.

Biebs will be Biebs(?)

This guy may not look like Justin Bieber, but his personality is stuck somewhere between “Baby” and spitting on his fans in Brazil. He’s so obnoxious that palming Val’s face before their interview even starts and yelling about “dunking on a bitch” isn’t even the worst thing he does this episode.

The Swarming Vultures

While Earn is waiting for Paper Boi to do his thing, media agent Janice mistakes him for someone named “Alonso” before using her white woman powers to get him into a networking event. Earn isn’t enjoying himself a Hennessy/Grand Marnier for five minutes before Janice comes and accuses “Alonso” of wrecking her entire career and promising she’ll do the same. Being broke might just be the least of Earn’s problems now.    

“You can’t shoot dogs.”

Darius has nothing to do today, so he takes his bored self down to the gun range to shoot off some rounds. He’s not looking to shoot at people like everyone else and brings a cutout of a dog, which every shooter takes issues with. “My kid could be in here, man. You can’t shoot a dog,” one of the shooters says before Darius points to his ultra specific “Dad” cutout. He gets caught between a debate on American race relations that he didn’t start before the owner kicks him out for starting shit.

“People want you to be the asshole. You’re a rapper; that’s your job.”

Paper Boi and Fake Bieber start up a competition on the court (and neglect both Lloyd and Jaleel White in the process) that ends with fake handshakes and weak headlocks. Fake Bieber apologizes to his fans (“I actually love Christ”) before playing a new single (sung by Donald Glover, no less) that takes the piss out of the real Bieber’s “What Do You Mean: “Whatever I did, it doesn’t matter/You know that I’ll always be there/Sometimes I’m crazy, and you know it/That’s how I show you that I care.” Dejected and exposed, Earn and Paper Boi take off.


– Van’s been on the sidelines since the premiere and out of the picture entirely for two weeks now. She can’t be taking care of she and Earn’s daughter all the time, can she?

– Paper Boi up and left Zan and Bankroll PJ after the latter got robbed during last week’s pizza delivery. Did that eventually work out?

Billy Paul’s “Am I Black Enough For You?” is the only new song we have to add to our Atlanta Soundtrack playlist, which you can check out on Spotify below.


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