Lazy afternoons are usually for channel surfing, but you used to know you got to BET or TVOne when the Miss Cleo commercials popped up. “Atlanta” knows this and really had the nerve to break the fourth wall of your TV screen with “B.A.N.”
This week’s episode of “Atlanta” was a literal and figurative drive through the Black American Network, a fictional TV channel featuring a snooty Charlie Rose-esque talk show called “Montague.” Paper Boi/Alfred hops on the show (which he’s not getting paid for) to explain some potentially transphobic tweets and finds common ground with the leader of a trans youth outreach center; and that’s *before* the trans-racial Black dude shows up.
Since this episode is light on “plot” outside of Paper Boi pleading his case, we’re gonna examine the best fake commercials that aired in between Paper Boi talking with Montague. Grab you some swishers and check our recap of “B.A.N.”
******SPOILER WARNING. TURN AROUND NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED***********
6. “Mickey’s Malt Liquor: You’re drinking it wrong”
Because if Heineken can pass itself off as classy, then so can malt liquor. If y’all can bond over malt liquor at a masquerade ball, you can bond over anything.
5. “The price is on the can, though”
Ever raised hell about the extra 50 cents you get charged for that 99 cent can of Arizona iced tea? B.A.N. has the commercial for you! The clerk and the customer are as confused as the rest of us.
4. “Most people don’t realize their chakra’s in another universe.”
Remember the man in the tan suit that appeared next to Earn in the first episode? Turns out he’s real and he’s selling you bullshit Miss Cleo-esque help with one phone call. The cheap green screening and dime store hotel philosophizing are priceless here.
3. “Leave me my Dodge Charger”:
The first two commercials for the classic muscle car start with a seemingly happy guy driving through generic streets and mountains and end with the same message: “The official car of making a statement without saying anything at all.” But the third commercial reveals that the guy just went through a rough divorce and lost everything *but* the car. Pumping gas with no pants on is almost as low as you can get.
2. “Swisher Sweets is good as hell”
Fictional cigarillo company Swisher Sweets knows exactly who they’re selling these to. Everyone’s packing it in by the end, even with the pre-dumps.
1. “They don’t let wolves in stores, man.”
Rabbits can’t have Trix and cuckoo birds can’t have Cocoa Puffs, but can wolves have Coconut Crunch-O’s? A riff on the Cookie Crisp wolf commercials goes horribly wrong once police brutality gets involved. Voice acting legends Kevin Michael Richardson and Cree Summer sell the hell out of this twisted riff on a sugar-fused Saturday morning cartoon ad.
No new music to report this week, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check out our Spotify & Apple Music playlist of every song on “Atlanta” thus far. Peep below.